Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Misfits - Walk Among Us

You mustn't fear this musical group known as the Misfits! Just because punkers the world over drench themselves in spooky Misfits brand memorabilia bearing images of skulls and shit like that does not mean that this is "extreme" music whatsoever. And just because the songs have titles like "Angelfuck" and "Mommy Can I Go Out & Kill Tonight" doesn't mean that they're anything other than catchy, catchy, catchy. Hell, even "Last Caress," with its tale of baby killing and mommy raping, is sugarier than a lollipop butterscotch sunshine funsicle!

I mean, this shit is POP-PUNK, for crissakes. And there's one thing I'm curious about... how come the Misfits aren't frequently cited along with the Ramones, the Descendents, and the Buzzcocks as major innovators of the pop-punk that bands like Screeching Weasel and the Mr. T Experience have made a fortune off of by selling out to the majors and releasing pretentious rock operas? Sure, the 'Fits (as I call them) had turned all hardcore by the time of Earth A.D., but before then, with this album and the various songs scattered across Legacy of Brutality and Static Age, they combined 60s Beach Boys/"girl group" melodic shit with super mega gobs of fucking loud distortion in an equally skillful way as the Ramones did! Shit, the Descendents were practically Flux of Pink Indians' The Fucking Cunts Treat Us Like Pricks compared to this shit!

They carried the torch of the Ramones better than any punk rockin' melody lovers of the time (along with GG Allin, I'd say... again, the lyrics are gross, but a lot of the songs are just fun pop-punkers), let me tell you that. This album is just a fucking swell testament to that! 24 minutes of kickass punk rock jams featuring lots of "WHOOOOOA-OHHHH-OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"s. They play lots of generic, ultra-happy pop-punk chord progressions that are constantly recycled by bands with nowhere near the songwriting talent of these fellas. Normally, these progressions would just sound dumb and sissyish, but in the Misfits' hands, they sound fuckin' ace! And you can shout along to those "WHOOOOOA-OHHH-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" choruses, too. So grab that crusty senior kid at your high school who wears that jacket covered with studs and A Global Threat patches and rock out to this album with him after holding a delightful vintage horror movie festival in your very household! Cool beans?

Rating: This is just a great fucking album. Listen to it while you're fucking! You and your partner can shout along to "I Turned Into A Martian" as you penetrate their moist land of delectable juicy jum jums with your fleshy rod of baby forming sperm loads to be blown all over the unsuspecting face of a stranger or family member! "I TURNED INTO A MARTIAN!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOAAAAAAA-OHHHHHHHH-OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Song: "Skulls"... I should have uploaded "I Turned Into A Martian," but you've probably heard it already if you've ever fucked before or are a woman because vaginas are known to emit this song from their murky depths about once a month. THIS IS A GOOD SONG, TOO, THOUGH.


Anonymous said...

I consider you fellas my most credible source of music criticism available. Keep this bitch going for my selfish reasons alone!

Roger_Daltree said...


Joe said...

I smell a Pulitzer Prize.