Sunday, January 28, 2007

Jesu - Conqueror

This band is okay, I guess. People call it metal, but this is just about the fruitiest metal I've ever heard. Apparently, it's what the kids refer to as "shoegaze metal" or "shoedoom" or shit like that, and yeah, it kicks the shit out of pretty much all other metal that you could describe as being "slow and beautiful" like Isis or Pelican. But while those bands are just kind of boring in their attempts to craft epic-smart-people-soundscapes out of their heavyass guitars, Jesu ends up churning out some of the most disgustingly sugary melodies I have ever heard in my life!

Plus, the dude's vocals are way the fuck up in the mix. Steve Albini would not like this because he doesn't like people trying to be the Beatles by making their vocals louder than everything. And the dude isn't a metal screamin' scream machine. He sounds more like Adam Franklin of Swervedriver fame. 'Cept he's singing over a bunch of Swervedriver songs that have been slowed down. So if you thought Franky sounded bored before, wait 'til you hear him rock these glacial jams! Whoo!

To me, there is a fine line between "shoegaze" and "totally ass fuckingly gay." This album is both of those things! Get it if you like that stuff, and be like, "omg Justin is teh shit and for the last time it DOES NOT sound like Jawbreaker asshole." Just know that you're a fairy! Doot dit dooooooo!!!

Rating: Shit!

Song: Reagan Youth - A Collection of Pop Classics

1 comment:

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