Couch - Glass Brothers 1993-1994

Hey, Blogger, can I just say, "What the fuck?" How is it that if you autosave my post every minute, and I suddenly have to force quit my browser because my computer freezes, when I come back to the "edit posts" list, the draft that you have saved is completely BLANK??? During my computer's menstrual outburst or whatever, did I seriously just up and press some crazy combination of keys that highlighted all of the text in my post and then erased it? Is it safe to assume that that's what happened?

I started writing the Twin Infinitives review on Monday. I spent several hours on it. I even took a break to listen to the album and write down notes about every song. Hell, I even wrote some of the review in bed on notebook paper! What the fuck?

I was hoping that I would have been able to finish it this morning and that Joe would have a bunch of rad comments about it, but no, Blogger had to go and ruin everything. Or something. Also, my Bluetooth mouse ran out of batteries right then. I fucking hate that shit. It's not like I use my computer while I'm cruisin' around my room on a swivel chair! Why can't I just have one of them things with the cord coming out of it? Such bullshit.

So fuck you, "convenient" technology. You fucking suck.

Despite this morning being completely shitty, I have decided to brighten my spirits with this compilation of material by a band called Couch. Like the ten other people who first heard the music contained on this thing at some point after the band actually existed, I was informed about Couch through various interviews with Aaron Dilloway and Andrew W.K., who as teens growing up in Ann Arbor, MI had their lives altered when they first encountered the noisy, wacked-out fucking WEIRDNESS ("my dick is turning into a tree," lol) of this fine, fine band.

This 32 minute CD compiles 3/4 of their first 7", 2/3 of some split thing, and a bunch of other shit! "Chinese Mechanic" and "Old Man" are wicked, shouty stompers! "Sexy River" is quieter than the other ones! "Jeff" is seven minutes of guitar noise! "Doctor Power" sounds like early Sonic Youth (think "The World Looks Red," but even more awesome)! "Blue Light In The Fog" almost has a melody! "In A Sealed Car" begins with a really high pitched screeching noise that terrified the shit out of me when I first heard it whilst on the 'ol green line!

Imagine a more fun-sounding version of no-wave or a more minimal Butthole Surfers or a more immediately listenable Caroliner. There's some other band called Couch, but they're some post-rock thing and they're not this Couch, so who cares. The liner notes to this are by Weasel Walter! I don't own a copy, though, so I can't read them. And Bulb apparently had them on their site, and there most definitely is a link to them on there, but the link doesn't work, so fuck, eat my ass, Bulb Records website!

COUCH = THE RESIDENTS OF PUNK FUCKING ROCK, HOW'S THAT FOR A FAIRLY APT COMPARISON????

Rating: Awesome.

Song: "Old Man"... not the Neil Young song! Although, it'd be awesome if it was, wouldn't it?

Royal Trux - Twin Infinitives

For the past three or so days, I had been writing a lengthy, informative review of this album.

Unfortunately, despite Blogger's supposedly efficient "autosave" function, the entire fuckin' thing (unfinished, but still a mouthful) was deleted when my computer froze and I had to force quit my browser.

How the fuck it managed to get erased, I have no clue. What gives, Blogger? Asshole.

Listen to Fugazi. Always.

Pissed Jeans - Hope For Men

Man, Shallow was just an instant fucking classic, wasn't it? In 2005, Pissed Jeans made a noise rock album, and goddamn, not only was it really, really noisy, it also somehow managed to be tons 'o fun! Pissed off, drunken Scratch Acid listeners certainly aren't a humorless bunch, but there's at least something mildly threatening about the abrasiveness of a band like Clockcleaner, what with their songs having choruses consisting of "FUCK! BITCH!" and songs about plotting to tie up your friend's girlfriend whom you've been screwing on the side and going to the abortion clinic with and what-have-you.

Pissed Jeans managed to come across as being quite a bit goofier than your stereotypical noise-rock band on their debut album. Over the overwhelmingly noisy guitars, the singer barked out lyrics like a deranged muppet, blasting out his lungs about being "ASHAMED OF MY CUM!!!! NEVER SATISFIED EVEN AFTER I'M DONE!!!!!" and how he "WANT[S] TO KIIIISSSS THOSE BORING GIRLS!!" Sort of like No Trend. You've never heard No Trend, have you. That's what I thought.

Anyways, 'twas a fantastic rock album; just over half an hour long, and with songs that were downright CLEVER and DISTINGUISHABLE FROM ONE ANOTHER DUE TO THE AWESOME RIFFS OR FUNNY VOCALIST THINGS.

Their new album Hope For Men isn't anywhere near as good as their last one. It's basically the same sound, but the album is 40 minutes instead of 32, and there are no shout-along anthems like "Boring Girls" or "Ashamed of My Cum." There are a couple tracks that are quiet and atmospheric (in a STOOPID way) like "The Jogger," which has a funny mention of Whole Foods. But yeah, they didn't really develop their sound at all, and Shallow was an in-the-moment kind of record... they could have done this thing in their sleep, it's just the same old shit without, I don't know, a lot of what made Shallow such a special album! It's not like bands like these are all that focused on churning out conventional "hooks," so when they do manage to come up with some great ones (as on Shallow), whether they're found in an accidentally anthemic chorus or a kickass guitar riff, it really shows off what bands like these are capable of. And I don't know about you, but I happen to like memorable music. As much as I'd like to be a red-blooded, unsubjective badass who "digs anything as long as it brings the RAWK," in reality, I'm not one of those guys. It's why I'll always prefer Goat to Liar. Great songs vs. totally unmericful shit-kicking? I'd love to have both, but if forced to choose, I generally take the former. I talked about this that time I reviewed Playing With Fire, remember? Those were good times, weren't they.

Rating: If you liked their last album and just want more balls-out, Flipper-ish guitar noise insanity, then hey, you might dig this. But it ain't as good as that one! This is Pissed Jeans by numbers, more or less. I'm listening to "Closet Marine" from the first record, and oh, man, what a riff on this thing. Hey, buy the album Shallow by Pissed Jeans, it's awesome. That's all.

Song: "Fantasy World"

Mammatus - The Coast Explodes

These guys got a lot tighter with this one.

Less jammy, it seems. Still pretty reefer smokin' and spaced out, though.

More instrumentally varied.

There's a flute on one song and then some chick on another one, it's cool.

I'm listening to Jay Reatard demos right now.

Rating: Fucking great psych rock record. Better than the first one, which was pretty great. Heavier this time. Crazier than Comets on Fire, and the songwriting is less monotonous than on that Sword record that came out last year. Less organ this time, though. These guys bring the solid jamz, R E C O M M E N D E D!

Song: "Pierce The Darkness"

Art Brut - It's a Bit Complicated(2007)


Some of you may remember, but back in 2005 I was obsessed with this UK guitar band called Art Brut. It was one of those albums that really seemed to reflect my life at the time and everything about the album just sort of clicked. It was short, it lacked filler. Eddie Argos proved himself to be one of the most clever/hilarious lyricists of all time with only 30 minutes worth of material. I saw them live a bunch of times, and even got my picture taken with them. The years went by, and I sort of forgot about the band to be honest! The album didn't resonate with me as much as it used to, it was still fantastic, but, well, I had moved on to other things. I even passed up the opportunity to go see them live for the fifth time, (a decision I now woefully regret).

I was really looking forward to this album, and you know what? The Brut did it again. This album hits me like a ton of bricks from a balcony. This album hits me like a ten minute keyboard solo to a Yes fan. The album shits on everything , just about everything. It once again resonates with me to the point that I often feel Eddie Argos might be peering into my soul with his cold, dead eyes.


The guitarwork has come a long way, some really intricate stuff here, lots of ascending/descending riffs and even a few tones that gave me shivers. This one's a lot more mature. The songwriting and lyrics sacrifice their adorable playfulness in the debut to concentrate more on maturity, and I have to say, it's much sharper and in the long run, is going to prove advantageous. This band is no novelty, they're the real fuckin' deal, and that's exactly what they they tried to do and succeeded to do here.

Never again will I doubt this band, I have little doubt that history will repeat itself and Art Brut will once again soundtrack my summer.



Rating: The best album I've heard all year? I dunno, Boredoms and Dino Jr. sure make stiff competition.

Song: Here's the whole album, but please buy it when it comes out. I've read interviews where the band basically states they're shit broke and really need money. Support these musical geniuses.

Goon Moon - I Got A Brand New Egg Layin' Machine

The other day, we were driving around and this broad was in the car and we were listening to the Psychic Paramount (who are fucking great, obtain their music today) and this broad is like, "Hey, do you like Goon Moon?" I'm like, "I don't know what that is." So she's like, "Oh, do you like this?" And I'm like, "NO, THAT'S WHY I PUT IT ON TO LISTEN TO, DUHHHH LOL!!!!!!!!!" And she's like, "If you like this, you'll like Goon Moon! I'll burn you a copy!"

So she did, and I listened to it, fell asleep, and listened to it again later. And that's how we have arrived at where we are now, listening to Hot Chip and updating our precious blog. And farting.

This CD is about a quarter of an hour long and the tracks overlap and shit and they're kind of short. It starts out as a noisy psych metal kind of thing for a minute or two and then the style switches drastically and there are some hilarious "wacky" lyrics that make the whole thing seem like a phony, self-conscious attempt at "ZAPPA/RESIDENTS/AVANT GARDE MUZIK LOL"-style subversion.

And that's pretty much what the rest of this thing sounds like. Upon listening to it and deciding upon said opinion, I later discovered that this thing is actually a side-project by Twiggy Ramierez (Marilyn Manson/NIN guitarist? Bassist? Who knows? Who cares?) and some Queens of the Stone Age guy who isn't the bald dude or Josh Homme, which makes some amount of sense. This thing just sounds like a side-project. Like, "Hey, let's take a break from our hip million dollar modern rock careers and go play noisy cutting edge experimental rock music!"

But they ain't Mr. Bungle. They'd like to be, though. But they ain't. If you're wondering why some of the drumming on here rules so much, it's because that's Zach Hill from Hella. Stellar drum player. That's all I can really give this, though.

Rating: They're not Mr. Bungle, but they'd like to be. You'll probably never hear about this band again, and you'll probably never stumble across this EP, but you needn't worry about missing out on something this insignificant. So this review was more or less a waste of your time and mine. Let's redeem it.

With JIZZ!!!!!!!!!!

Never mind, I'll just post a Meat Loaf song.

Song: Meat Loaf - "You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)"... killer song from a killer album, right here. Bat Out of Hell is my main jam, for serious.

Trans Am - Trans Am

Before buying this album (my introduction to the group's music), I had read a lot about how the so-called Trans Am apparently integrates 70s hard rock cliches into their sound in a super-ironic manner, while still being able to hold onto their arty, experimental "post-rock" cred.

Needless to say, I was misled! This isn't some all-irony, tight t-shirted, indie cock stroking fest, nor is it your late 90s easy-listening post-rock free jazz bullshit. No, on this, Trans Am's studio debut, our friends Philip, Nathan, and Sebastian turn in what is simply a half hour's worth of tightly (yet subtly) arranged instrumental rockers and brief studio experiments.

And while the "70s irony" is certainly brought out by the Rush-like rhythm fuckage and ballsy guitar lead of the album's opener "Ballbados" (all the songs are named after imaginary bands! Like this is supposed to be some sort of "battle of the bands" like on that Turtles album or last Friday when my band played poorly received noise-rock to a bunch of football jocks at an all-boys Catholic high school. We tore it up, though. Also, the band's choice of "name" for this particular "band" certainly reinforces the "cock rock irony" that people like to speak of when discussing Trans Am), the group clearly owes much to the post-hardcore side of 90s underground rock, as their compositions often recall Fugazi and various "math-rock" elements.

Of course, then there's the driving 70s classic rock riffing of "Orlando," which is fortunately catchy as crap, and hell, your ZZ Top loving dad might just dig the hell out of it, who knows! The shorter tracks are cool, too. Cute, catchy melodies! This shit gets stuck in your head and you can't remember where it's from and then you realize it's from this album and so you listen to it and you enjoy it because it's good, see.

Rating: Overall, this is a solid instrumental record that's too short to ever really grow boring. The rockers on here pwn hard, and the synthesizer touches are cool as shit (nowhere near as many as you might find on later TA records, though.) If you've never heard Trans Am, I would certainly suggest this as a starting point. Or Futureworld. You get a nice balance of synth jammin' and guitar rockin' here, though. Good album.

Song: "Ballbados"... the first song on this album! It's a good'n!

Spirit - Twelve Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus

Once upon a time, my dad was playing some 60s/70s FM rock compilation he'd gotten from Starbucks a long while back. It had some pretty rad shit... "Instant Karma," "Alone Again Or," "Maybe I'm Amazed," that song "Time Has Come Today" by the Chambers Brothers, "I Saw The Light," and probably something by Rod Stewart or Traffic or some shit. Then there was a song on there called "Nature's Way" by Spirit. Hearing it all those years ago, it sounded pretty damn familiar, like something I had heard on a classic rock radio station at some point, somewhat of a less sissyish Moody Blues. Decent enough song, blah, blah, blah.

Some time after that, when I was in the eighth grade, I picked up a Mojo Magazine that had articles on Smile and the Mars Volta and all this shit about "The Greatest Lost Albums," and there was a "letter to the editor" in the beginning of the magazine complimenting an article that the publication ran on Spirit a few issues back. I was like, "Oh, shit, it's that 'Nature's Way' band, cool." Right then I sort of assumed that they were some 70s classic rock band that no one ever talked about for some reason, probably because they didn't kick as much ass as Steely Dan or the Floyd or something! I figured they just sounded like Traffic, anyway. Not that I have anything against Traffic. It was just an assumption.

Some time last year, I saw some dude on the internetz talking about the awesomeness/underratedness of this album, as well as a solo album from Randy California, the singer/guitarist in this band. I was like, "Hmm, classic rock psychedelic guitar rocking all-American good times? I'm gonna get on this shit!"

And that I did.

I've been listening to this album a lot this week. Spirit really does seem to be "the great lost classic rock band," very much a product of that magical period when classic rock was transitioning from psychedelia to all-out bombast; which is to say that between The Who Sell Out and Who's Next, there was Tommy. There was the Guess Who. There was the James Gang. The production on that stuff is much fuller and has a greater presence than a lot of 60s things, but we're not quite into the new decade just yet. Rock's balls we're still struggling to not drop down too low JUST YET.

And so we have Spirit. Randy California was 19 when this album was recorded and the drummer was his 47 year old stepdad! What the fuck??? Must have been awkward having groupie boning sessions and what-have-you. The remastering on the CD sounds really damn good. David Briggs produced this way back in the day! He recorded a bunch of Neil Young albums! That must be why this album rules.

And it does. Sure, it's pretty "psychedelic," and a lot of these songs sound like they should be in the opening credits of some movie about groovy young persons doing acid or riding around on motorcycles with Dennis Hopper or something. But these guys, these guys just had fucking boatloads of talent. They musicianship kicks axe, and some of this shit is funky, and some of it is jazzy, but they manage to a) make it not sound like pointless genre exercises or b) not use the diversity of influences as an excuse to stretch out and jam their dicks into each other. After all, two of the guys were related, and that's just gross! EEEEEEEHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

No, this here record is just well-crafted, ambitious pop music to "expand your mind" with (ultra-swell melodies popping up all over the place!), and the fact that a couple of the guys were really young (or was it just the one dude?) gives it this sort of fresh, youthful impressiveness. "Street Worm" has a cool guitar solo! The transition between the two sections of the first track is rad as hell! The synthesizer on "Space Child" isn't totally dopey! Excellent use of dual vocalists! A "lost classic" if I've ever heard one.

And I have. It's called Dark Side of the Moon. Has anyone else heard this album? It's pretty gay, thanks.

Rating: I like it a lot! It's a grower! Dick jokes!

Song: "Animal Zoo"... quality pop song, right here!

Lou Reed- Live: Take No Prisoners

Sorry that I've been gone for so long!!!!! With finals and school and all that fun stuff I have had no time do anything fun (This blog, for instance) and as a result, I've lapsed into a mania where I listen to the Jesus and Mary Chain for hours on end while pawing at my crotch. Also, I was coming up with funny jokes like this:

What do Michael Jackson and Robert Fripp have in common?

They both like to play with minors! (Hahahahaha)

Anyways, I will be much more free nowadays so hopefully I can consistently update this wonderful blog along with the other villanous cohorts who scrawl on this bronze tablet. Today I'm going to review Lou Reed's Live: Take No Prisoners!

If you're looking for an ORAL masterpiece (Like Angelina Jolie's pussy lips!) then this album is exactly what you need if you're on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid, and you have a roof to beat off underneath, your own semen to eat for sustenance, a homeless man to jerk you off when you're tired, and the wherewithall to know he's doing it because he loves you and not because you're responsible for his Jack Daniels I.V.

Anyways, this album is basically a comedy album. Lou Reed is a fucking huge asshole and he loves to take drugs, so basically any concert where those facets are primary and his music is somewhat secondary, then, yeah, fucking lock and load! Plus, there is a pretty fucking awesome version of Satellite of Love, and the song I Want to be Black is about renouncing your jewdom for a set of tirelips and a Nike spear.

Rating: Pou Peed

Download: No download!

Unwound - The Future of What

Remember when you heard Fugazi's In On The Killtaker and you were like, "Oh, shit, this is some abrasive post-hardcore noise rockin' Steve Albini shit, lol." Meet Unwound, you pussy!

Unwound was the 90s noise-rock band that you simply did not fuck with. Scarier than Drive Like Jehu (the singer's voice wasn't as high-pitched and phlegmy.) Artier/less balls-out-rawk than the Jesus Lizard. Not as groovyass-classic-rock as Fugazi. Sure, they were influenced by Sonic Youth, but Unwound actually managed to write good songs. Like Shellac, they were a power trio whose members all brought something distinct to the table. Sara Lund played drums more creatively than you ever will, Vern Rumsey's basslines were totally crushing, and Justin Trosper... he sounded bored like SM and Thurston Moore, but he didn't sound like a little bitch when he screamed. Dude fucking roared his head off. And the guitar playing... just brilliant. You can't tell what the fuck he's playing half the time! These aren't normal chords! One could say the same about Sonic Youth, but shit, I just don't give a fuck!

From all this, they forged one hell of a fucking inimitable sound. Five years and three albums into their career at this point, they released our friend The Future of What, and this album... this album. This album is that album. It's not as rough as their first two. It's tighter, but it's more brutal. The songs are shorter and more concise. And the whole thing sounds crystal clear. After this album, they started experimenting with more studio effects, which would eventually lead them to crafting one of the greatest albums of all-time. Until then, we have this... pure, raw, skull-crushing, noisy fucking. That's right, fucking. Sorry if you like music or something. There's none of that here.

Although they progressed with every album, The Future of What is the high-point of Unwound's abrasive shit-kicking years. Everything is perfect here. All the songs just rule ass. The last several minutes of the album's epic closer "Swan" where they're playing this one droning chord and then the song ends and there's just this wall of guitar noise for a few minutes... FUCK. So good. Stop the CD there, though, because the next four tracks are just this one keyboard loop that they added to the CD version as "extra boredom" because Unwound are scummy, dollar-grabbing pieces of shit and are members of the worst band in the world, aka the Beatles (they did that song about "the nookie" right?)

Rating: 9.6/10 sounds about right.