Looks like I accidentally deleted last week's review of Wolfgang Voigt's first ever U.S. concert performance.

Bummer, it was an amusing one.

At least we still have the comments.

,
LG

Gun Outfit - Dim Light

Listened to this album one time a month and a half ago.

Started off like raw as all fuck Dinosaur Jr. and then I lost interest, but maybe it's a "grower" like hip hop and the Afghan Whigs. Grimy lo-fi throwback bullshit that's not trying nearly hard enough to sound like it's not trying hard enough.

I don't know jack shit about new music anymore, I just picked this album 'cause I'm self-conscious about how ruggedly obscure my tastes seem. All I play anymore is Neil Young's discography and Sun Kil Moon and like five other albums that only don't sound like shit at night time.

Too many bands, they need to stop.

Rating: I'd say, "Don't waste your time," but you might as well do just that.
Download Link: "Work Experience"

Pain Teens - Pain Teens (1988)

I don't know when or where I first downloaded this album but it languished on my computer for a year or two before I had to reformat sometime in 2007. I saved half of my mp3 collection on CD-Rs and then tossed said CD-Rs into a shoebox where they sat for about two years. Until now!

Suddenly I'm once again enjoying golden hits like DJ Tasaka's themes from "OH! Super Milk Chan," the elite compositions of Wilco's own Glenn Kotche, and Amon Tobin's Bricolage, which was given a perfect 10.0 on Pitchfork until the review was seemingly purged from the site during its last update, along with the classic reviews of Save Ferris, 12 Rods, and Beck's Odelay, among others. How could Mr. Tobin feel about this, being thrust from the privileged and seemingly immortal ranks of the the chosen? There's something eerily Orwellian about it, like it's been dropped into a chute from somewhere within the Ministry of Truth and incinerated, never to be spoken of again. At least will still have the review of Permutation, and the unforgettable account of Ryan Schrieber's trip down I-94 to a Chicago hostel. Sunroof top, digging the scene, but little did he know that it wouldn't be long before he'd have an entire generation along with him for the ride. And what a ride it's been!

Also on these discs was the self-titled debut from Pain Teens, which for the life of me I can't remember downloading in the first place or ever listening to more than once. I put it on this afternoon while rearranging my furniture, digging through old school notebooks and dusting off and trying to organize my growing collection of half-broken and obsolete personal electronics. I probably should have been licking the hairs off my bathroom floor or catching up on my collection of cheerleader snuff videos instead. Or at least that's what it felt like once this had been playing for a few minutes. Shit, these are some brutal songs! Did you hear about that guy in California who ate his son's eyes right out of his head? Can you believe what this world is coming to? I mean, grab the gurney! Gotta smh at that shit.

Lots of tape loops and electronics, employed in that heavy, lurching way that all you Wolf Eyes or Kevin Drumm fans will enjoy. But don't worry rock fans. This is a real band with guitars, drums, and other real instruments. They were friends with the Butthole Surfers, who wrote "Dracula in Houston," which could have been the next great Smash Mouth song if they hadn't sold out. Play this at your next party in between Trapdoor Fucking Exit and Twin Infinitives and thank me later!

Rating:


Download: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WP08ZMKO

Dead C - Trapdoor Fucking Exit

there's a lot of people who are really fucked up, like the bad kind, and only a few of them are lucky enough to have enough talent that nobody cares. Neutral Milk Hotel? imagine a dude who tells everybody that he's obsessed with fucking Anne Frank, a 12 year old dead girl, so much that he sat in his basement and wrote songs about it, never talking to another human being, and instead of locking him up they worship him and get tattoos of his weirdo artwork. i know perfectly well-adjusted grown men who went to see him play ten years ago and actually freak out over the fact that they made eye contact. and why, because he knows three chords? because he wrote lyrics nobody can relate to? it can't be the music, because it's a bunch of half-assed campfire shit. it's because he regurgitated his entire tortured psyche in such an extreme way that all you can do is listen in complete awe. we've all got hangups and we love listening to people who've got it worse and have the balls to tell the world about it. if you like wackjob music like that then this is the album for you.

this is disaffected twentysomething shit taken to a new level. just totally world weary and hopeless. it's not wide eyed manchild catharsis like Jeff Mangum; they plod through this shit like they're about to give up any second and just kick the chair. you play this and it amazes you that the person who wrote these songs can pay their rent on time and even get out of bed in the morning. i've never listened to it sober so i dont know. this is just some filthy, grimy ruminations from people who started thinking too much and went insane. it's not the lyrics, or the songs, because there hardly are any; you could basically record this entire album in your garage with a tape recorder and a snare drum, but apparently it was made by reasonably functional adults. goddamn. i'm sure to a lot of people it'll sound like garbage, whatever. just break up with your girlfriend, smoke a blunt and let this shit make you want to crawl into a cave forever.

Rating: keep on truckin'

download: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?gmztflb5tyn

FUgazi - 13 Schlongs(1990)

Sorry I am not reviewing pretentious, obscure indie bullshit like my compatriots. Leif Garret is writing about some noise rock compilation of the MEGO label that maybe eight people have heard. What a waste of kilobytes and memory space. Fucking makes me sick. Stay tuned for next week when we take a extensive look at Incubus's discography followed by the foo fighter.

Ian MacKaye's Fugazi were a group of hungry Mexican-Americans who recorded a bunch of Eps in the late 1980s in exchange for many sandwiches and freshly washed bedsheets. Fresh off the boat from Bethlehem, Ian MacKate and sidekick Guy Pizzacoti were literally stuffed with interesting melodies showing the hardcore kids that you didn't necessarily have to play your balls off to write cool punk rock that you can slam dance too!

Also, the first track on this EP compilation is a really good song, "Waiting Room" is you haven't heard it yet. It's the sound of two butt fuckers thundering around without a care in the world.

The second track is cool, but the guy singing on it, (Guy Pizza?? I think Ian is the deeper vocalist) sounds too much like Elvis Costello. In conclusion fuck the rest of the album

Life sucks, though. I don't have a job right now and don't want to pay my rent anymore.


Rating: Probably every FUgazi release is essential, and this is among the top 3-4.

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?04dlht1zrd3

Massimo - Hello Dirty

Not too sure about this one. It's definitely real distorted and an experimental noise release from 2002 on the MEGO label.

So loud! Can't play it in the dorm at the volume that it demands. Harsh realm, doggs.

Is it dense? Is there shit going on? I think in track three or at some point I thought I heard something that wasn't a dude fucking with some sustained synth shit. So fuzzed out, though, who knows what the fuck was really happening there.

Maybe this deserves to be "spun on my AKG's." Maybe I need to get out of this room. Maybe I need to not have a headache all the time. Maybe I should pull it out during a less stressful period. I really don't know. The 2002 Mego release Hello Dirty and I got off on the wrong foot, that's definitely apparent. Gonna give it the benefit of the doubt, but for now, compared to the super engaging sonic environments crafted by Kevin Drumm and Fe-mail, this shit is downright monotonous. At least To Live & Shave In L.A. has funny samples.

Rating: I'm probably wrong when I say that there's no low end and nothing happens. Pretend that you're reading this seven years ago, nobody cares about this shit anymore.
Download Link: NEW WILCO STREAMING http://beta.wilcoworld.net/records/thealbum/index.php

Neil Young - On The Beach

Why did this have to come out before Tonight's The Night, now everybody is confused.

That's not the order that you listen to them in unless you don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Last three songs on here would have been the greatest suicide note ever penned but instead of dying after letting that G chord have a couple final gasps Neil Young just keeps on living and writes "Like A Hurricane" and "Powderfinger" and "Cough Up The Bucks" because he's Neil fucking Young, the face of the '70s folk/country/singer/songwriter bullshit that was basically just backwash generated by the Great '60s Abortion of Shattered Dreams and yet he's the only one who truly took it upon himself to just kill every remaining trace of it. And that's what On The Beach is, Neil murdering what is either part one, two, or four of his "classic" era to make way for part two or three or five because the only other choice would have been to shamefully fade away or burn out or whatever everybody else did.

Because he just transcends every aspect of everything else and if you supposedly enjoy this music and yet don't realize this then you're listening to it all wrong.

You don't know what it is to feel like every person in the world is going out of their way to obliviously suffocate any aspect of your life that has the potential to make things seem a little bit better, if only for an hour or two or until you wake up the next morning, except deep down you know it's you who is the one guilty of feeding yourself the most bullshit of all. Neil Young's friends are dying and his women are leaving and he's done all he can to stay true to his own individuality except that's not what people want and it's not the way that anything is going to get better.

And he isn't just going to stay in one place. He went completely off it on the last two records, even growing a beard and rejecting the oh so played out electric rock 'n roll guitar in favor of some bomb ass saloon piano that he could bash out the most tuneless bullshit on and not have to stand up. And now it's time to move on because he's really just sick and delirious and tired and that's why "Ambulance Blues" exists and is the Greatest Goddamned Song Ever Written and makes me think for nine whole minutes that maybe it's the lyrics that matter after all.

But enough about the baked as all fuck melancholy exhaustion apocalypse that is side two of this album, enough before I even get to the title track or "Motion Pictures" and how you should be ashamed of your life for the fact that feeling sorry for yourself has never resulted in writing THOSE fucking songs, Jesus Christ. Because everything else here is genius. Except "Vampire Blues." But complaining about a "filler track" that is so blatantly a filler track... who even does that anymore? Irrelevant. Levon Helm sits down, plays a 4/4 beat, and makes you rethink rock drumming as you thought you knew it. "Revolution Blues" is the definition of sheer brutality, a "VICIOUS SWIPE," indeed. Then there's the Crazy Horse guitar rock song with the beautiful riff and a vocal melody that goes to more wonderful places than any of us deserve to be taken.

I'm not going to just review all the songs on here, probably should have just stopped the review a couple paragraphs ago. You know I've listened to it a few times and don't consider not singling out "For The Turnstiles" as a highlight (which it isn't) as evidence that I "forgot about it" so don't try to pull that one, mister.

Wholly deserving of its classic status. Sure don't make 'em like this anymore!

Rating: Another pretty good Neil Young album.
Download Link: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Have a Nice Life - Deathconsciousness

here's two broads with no money trying to be Fields of the Nephilim. if you've taken a freshman year art history class you'll know how awesome the cover art is. check it out if you're this one girl i fucked who took pictures of herself in the cemetery with a wig on.

RIYL: when the cock accidentally goes down the trachea

download link: www.megaupload.com/?d=JFE62LLC

Foo Fighters - Foo Fighters

Dave Grohl was the drummer for Nirvana and apparently he wrote some songs of his own, too! Foo Fighters is his opportunity to let his star truly shine. Not bad for a first try with little outside help save for some Greg Dulli guitar on "X-Static." You may have heard "Big Me" and "I'll Stick Around" popping up on radio or MTV, but the rest of the album is no slouch. From the more aggressive numbers ("Weenie Beenie," "Wattershed") to the kind of melodic grunge pop that proves Grohl to be close to former bandmate Kurt Cobain's equal ("Alone + Easy Target," "Good Grief"), the album's homespun eclecticism suggests that its creator has a long way to go in terms of refining and focusing his craft, but his current approach nevertheless makes for some tough rock songs that succeed in spite of their half-finished quality and hold much promise for Grohl's future achievements.

Rating: ***1/2/*****
Download Link: Download Foo Fighters' "All My Life" from Amazon.com for only $0.99 - http://www.amazon.com/All-My-Life/dp/B0018Q13JW

The Replacements - Let It Be(1984)

This album saved my life. Not in the literal sense(though, God, if I never heard it, who knows?), but it's the reason i wake up every morning. I first stumbled upon it in a used bin, amidst a bunch of Peter Gabriel solo albums and 80s David Bowie records, a diamond in the rough.

I can't even begin to remember what kind of person I was before I first heard this album. I wouldn't want to meet him. Whiny, fussy baby. I can't remember any day in particular that was important to me until I first listened to this album, the last album I bought as a teenager. I loved it more in the 3 days I had it as a nineteen year old than I do now. It's brought me to tears, I've listened to it while trashing rooms, hating myself, having sex, staying up all night with friends, shouting ever lyric at the top of my lungs like God's word, vacuuming, eating, drinking, breathing, living. This album is me. I don't ever want to hear anything else again but this album. I don't want to hear people talking, Even now my fingers are typing too loud, drowning out parts of Bob Stinson's whiskey-soaked guitars. I hate it.

Even the album cover, sometimes I wake up and I am that album cover. I'm the bass line to "I Will Dare," I'm Tommy, I'm Gary, I'm Dick, I'm Jane. "Unsatisfied" was the last song I ever played on my short-lived radio show. I remember the first time I heard it driving down Rt. 31 in Batavia, realizing brilliance was washing over my ears, I had to park the car and take it all in. It was the greatest moment of my life. Better than being born. Better than any moment in existence that ever has been or ever will be. No one had ever felt as special as I did at that precise second.

I turned 23 about a half hour ago. I'm listening to it right now. I hope I'm listening to it 20 minutes from now. I hope I'm listening to it 20 years from now, I hope I'm listening to it even after I'm dead. This album has been with me for three years now, the best three years of my life. I'll never be happier.

Go out and buy it, go buy three copies. Listen to it and over and over, let it change your life like it did to me. If it doesn't that's okay, that'll just make it even more special to me. I never really liked fitting in anyway.

Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion

POOP IN MY BUTT POOP ON MY TONGUE AND TEETH MMMMMMMMMMMM PUSSY SO WET

Hi! My dick is long and squishy!!!!!!!!! Come inside and play with my sloppy balls and butthole, they're a playground of fuckable shit smeared delights!!!

PREVIEW THE NEW ANIMAL COLLECTIVE ALBUM THAT EVERBYODY'S ALREADY HEARD RIGHT NOW GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!


"IN THE FLOWERS"- SKULLS FUCKCED FORCEFULLY FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING LOTS OF NASTY FUCKING
"MY GIRLS" - SWEATY NASTY PUSSYHOLE SPREAD WIDER THAN ALASKA
"ALSO FRIGHTENED" - I WANT YOUR CUM YOUR HOT BLACK CUM I WANT IT INSIDE OF ME
"SUMMERTIME CLOTHES"- MAKE ME WIDER SO SO WIDE I WILL BE TIGHT NO LONGER
"DAILY ROUTINE" - SLOPPY TITTIES LICKING NIPS NIPS NIPS NIPS MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM SLURP!!!
"BLUISH" - SNIFF PANTIES SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF ALLD AY MUST SNIFF PANTIES
"GUYS EYES" - PEEPEEPEEPEEPEEPEEPEE BEACH BOYS
"TASTE" - CATCH A FART IN YORU MOUTH SEND IT BACK INTO ME WHERE IT STAYS FOREVER
"LION IN A COMA" - MOUTH IS STUCK ON COCK HAVE TO BEAT IT WITH A FUCKING CROWBAR TO LOB IT OFF
"NO MORE RUNNIN'" - JISM DRIPPING OUT OF ASS LICK IT UP THE JUICES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
"BROTHERSPORT" - A BRUTAL FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKING COCKS IMPLODING MANGLED PUSSY IS ENOUGH TO GAS JEWS WITH MINIMAL EFFORT/////////////FSDAFFEFWYIFAYHFLLLZKUC9876546**********CCCC|||||||||

Rating: This album is SOOOOO good! It's gonna have to be a pretty amazing year for this to get topped in '09! This is easily the strongest and most tuneful Animal Collective album and you know this isn't the last or best we'll hear from them and it's things like this that make me truly fulfilled to hip to obscure alternative music.

Download Link: Wavves http://www.mediafire.com/?jooffd2ntz3

The Field - Yesterday And Today(2009)

This is another electronic minimal release on the KOMPAKT label. I don't like this as much as other "The Field" releases, maybe it'll grow on me. I don't know.

The album is named after one of The Beetles US-only albums entitled "Yesterday...and Today" and just so happens to contain every song from that album in it's entirety.

I'm listening to The Clash - Sandinista! right now and think it sorta sucks. Reggae??? BLEEECHHH!! The music equivalent of swallowing a live grenade and rubbing your tummy until it explodes, causing your delicious guts and fucking pancreas to spray everywhere in your two-bit suburban apartment complex.

Rating: Sold bone cruncher, The Field have done it again. Everyone else is saying it's just as great as the last one, maybe you should give it a listen and tell me what you think.

Download: i don't have it. Here's Sandinista! though.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=4QIN7MPK

Corrupted - El Mundo Frio

Having kind of a rough night over here. The other day I thought about what it would be like to finally shove a gun down my fucking throat and show the world how much it has ruined me and for maybe the first time ever it didn't seem a completely unfathomable action. Now I'm realizing more than ever that I'm incapable of following any sort of plan that I set out for myself in accordance with how positive I know the outcome will be. Every day feels like I've fallen further, whatever ability I had to prioritize and learn from my mistakes as a pre-teen disintegrating into what will eventually be a vast nothingness, an empty world of tattered relationships and hopeless ambitions that I won't even be able to cull joy from merely thinking about fulfilling, as I barely do now.

I'm so tired and miserable. I seek little else other than some path towards self-improvement, to live in a way that lets me be self-involved enough as to not eat up the resources of others when they would prefer that I didn't, to not suppress or deny prevalent human emotions but to also not forget about the good things that are always there or react to persons in ways that are not true to my self and what I truly believe to be a reflection of the worldview that I have built up through my 19 years as a tortured social retard. And perhaps ultimately I will come out of this the most victorious. But that day has not yet arrived, no fucking way, and my simple efforts to act in the most broadly rewarding manner have been met with confusion and even disgust from the people I'm not even sure I can comfortably call my peers.

I wish people would work on finding their own ways of conquering their inescapably human tendencies before turning to drugs to do it for them. I wish that persons who respected me would realize that they can't show me this by doing everything in their power to destroy the most valuable relationship in my life. I wish I could feel panic the most during the stages when prevention is actually a viable option. I wish that having an admirable grasp on one's "self-awareness" was more than some meaningless bullshit concept that no young person can ever give any thought to and still remain in a blissfully ignorant state or anything other than that exact thing with the "blissful" part replaced by insecurity of the most visibly horrifying nature. I wish I could discover some objective measure of how much more alone I may or may not be than everybody else. I wish that I could look back on every day's worth of accomplishments as I would an entire month's so that I can actually for once get caught up in the moments that I deserve to feel halfway decent about as they're still here to be lived through.

I wish every night wasn't like this.

Rating: It's like if Red House Painters were a bunch of filthy Mexicans! Can't believe anybody takes "metal" seriously, wow. BOOOOOOR-ING.

Download Link: Crystal Castles - "Courtship Dating" http://www.mediafire.com/?9tm4vnq1a91

Michael Mayer - Immer

This is a minimal techno release from 2002 on the KOMPAKT label.

It's pretty great, idk. Reminds me of sweaty labias.

Rating: 5 stars from the All Music Guide so you know it's a modern masterpiece of the '00s on par with David Cross's Shut Up You Fucking Baby! and System of A Down's Toxicity.

Download Link: Radiohead - In Rainbows (full album) http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6GVT3IFJ

The Field - Things Keep Falling Down(2005)

Another pretty good The Field album.

Rating: Bleeps and bloops.

Download:

Dead Kennedys - Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables(1980)

Dead Kennedys were a hardcore punk band from 2001-2008 with brendan cruz on vocals. amazingly talented black drummer peligro on drumz. east bay ray on guitar, and rev. al sharpton on bass. this highly influential multi-ethnic pop punk band had a great formula. Fast, non-formulaic punk songs fused w/ extremely leftist(and funny!) political rantings.

This was their first album where the Kennedys were at their funnest and fartiest, and much, much slower than any of the material they did after this. (The drummer they had on this album was more of a sperm whale and couldn't drum beat his kits bashiest enough until they hired talented black comedian, peligro(which means danger! in mexico).

Anyway, Brendan Cruz's lyrics hadn't gotten to the point of self-parody yet, and the guitarwork that is on this debut LP is some of the most inventive, visionary, and influential ever recorded. The Donkey Kongs had a unique sound, and coupled with the "piss off mom & dad" lyrics, these guys were practically tailor-made to appeal to the average pimple faced high schooler who is too much of a gay to ever be cool enough to try hard in gym class or have sex before he turns 30.

Anyway, the band recently broke up due to health concerns, and-wait, the original vocalist is featured on this album??? I thought the Dead Kennedys were recen

Rating:


Download: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=W88FB3BZ

Gas - Nah Und Fern

This is a minimal techno release with music from 1996-2000 on the KOMPAKT label.

It's alright... now... in fact, it's a (4 disc box set by) GAS!!!!!

Rating: 10/10, all the albums are the same.

Download Link: The Beatles - 1 (full album) http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6GVT3IFJ