Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Weezer - Blue Album

Actually, it's just called "Weezer" but I guess Poo album is a good name for it, because this album sucks!

it sucks at being bad! Because this album is a grand slam! Tuna on toast! etc!

Hudson River and his band of merry men. (L2R: Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo) were releasing albums under the name "Pink Floyd" until they decided to put out this muscular tour-de-force LP. A lot of people, like Stephen Malkmus for example, hate this band because they say all they did on this album was rip off Pavement and make it poppy or something. Well good for Weezer! because these songs kick ass, and I would've probably never even heard of Pavement as early as I did were it not for these four young gentleman.

And where did the Pavement thing come from anyway? This band sounds like a bunch of power pop except without the gay synths or vocals, and theres loud Van Halen-esque guitars all over the damn thing. Pavement my foot! This band sounds like Big Black if Steve Albini took a pair of scissors and drained the testicles out of his scrotum, and then ran into Alex Chilton on the Chicago Blue Line and stole his soul and then robbed a bank to get a huge production budget on his next album, and then ran into Kurt Cobain on a plane once and talked to him about how Nevermind was great and that he wanted to make an album like it except about sweaters and alcoholic fathers and other such nonsense, then he shot Kurt with a pistol which drove Kurt to suicide.

So in conclusion, this album was written and produced by Steve Albini, who was working on the organ sounds, with much patience.

No, I mean, I was the first one to play Weezer to the rock kids, I played it at CBGBs, everybody thought I was crazy.

No I mean the singles are all great on here, but actually the thing is that pretty much every song on here is just an alt rock song. I never really saw Weezer as a singles band because their albums tracks are about as good as their singles. I don't think Rivers sits down after fucking a jap girl and thinks "arigato sailor moon-sama!! n_n!N!N *WATCHES NEW VOLTRON DVDS* and writes a song thats supposed to be a single. I think he just writes great toons (hentai) and anyone who thinks that Weezer is just disposable nonsense is a buffoon. This isn't even their best album like many think. It's got a couple tracks that don't really work. "Holiday" just sounds like something I would eat for breakfast and then go "man what a shitty breakfast, I think I won't go to work today or fuck my wife because my breakfast was so shitty" hence "Holiday" has caused lots of problems in our busy modern world.

But I digress, this is definitely Weezer's most interesting or diverse album, because it's the debut, so they were just playing songs they had been playing for years, so you have songs like "The World has turned and left me here" (with Pat Wilson on songwriting credits!) that just sound deliciously un-Weezery. See for yourself, or don't asshole.

Rating: Weezer's third best album, Green and Pinkerton are still better.

Song: Here's a Fujiya & Miyagi album, the names are japanese just like the names of the girls that Rivers Cuomo likes to jizz inside of.


Leif Garret(t) said...

Ha, ha, "Chicago Blue Line"... way to help out our non-Chicago readership."

Joe said...

I should get this someday.