Monday, November 13, 2006

Weezer - Weezer

Let's face it, power-pop is 99.99999% boring shit. Jangly guitars, lyrics about slammin' bitches, wussy "nice guy" vocals... good for a while, but grows unfathomably tiresome unless the band contains some sort of god-like master songwriter like Kerry King or Weird Al. There's a reason why there are 50 copies of every Matthew Sweet, Fountains of Wayne, Jellyfish, Material Issue, and Superdrag album for two dollars each in every single used bin in the country. Oh, and Cheap Trick have maybe four good songs. Sorry.

Luckily, Rivers Cuomo is a god-like master songwriter of the most ridiculous order. This album is a better power-pop album than pretty much all power-pop albums combined. The melodies rule. The guitars are huge. Some people complain about this album being too short, but it's just the right length. Ten songs in 28 minutes, and not a second is wasted. Awesome verses, awesome choruses, awesome solos that are just the vocal melody played on guitar, and the occasional awesome harmony.

This review sucks. I have to go do homework. What kind of asshole doesn't like this album? You know, it's really actually not all that similar to The Blue Album, now that I think about it. That album was actually sort of angsty, what with its hard-rock anthems for kids who couldn't be heard singing its songs in the garage where they belong. This one is just really happy and bright! It actually sounds like the color of the album cover! Great summer album. I mean, "Island In The Sun," seriously.

Rating: 10/10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Song: "Ryan Parry - The World Is Terribly Infested"


yancy said...

Hip hip, motherfucker. Here's my review: this is the greatest album of all time.

Undercooked Sausage said...

Have you heard the first Cheap Trick album Paves? it's pretty solid throughout.

But yeah after that it was pretty hit or miss.

Leif Garret(t) said...

Yeah, I have that one...I just like "He's A Whore," honestly. "Mandocello" Okay, I guess. But crap like "Hot Love" just bugs me. "Daddy Should Have Stayed In High School"...I love songs about pedophilia but I can't even remember how this one goes. And ELO > "ELO Kiddies"

Joe said...

When this came out I was working at Meijer, or at least I was just for that summer. I can remember getting out of work at 12:30 (after coming in at 4:00 in the morning!), walking through the parking lot to my car, and then just habitually putting it for a few minutes before actually leaving. Instead, I'd just sit in the dangerously hot car listening to it as my pores all opened up simultaneously and my body erupted into a massive sweat. It always felt so good.

Roger_Daltree said...

I wish my penis were made of smiling River Cuomos.