Monday, August 13, 2007

Burzum - Filosofem

Burzum are a group of performers from Miami. They've recorded a ton of hit albums like Revolver, Pet Sounds, and even The Eagles best of compilation. This time Burzum entered the recording studio to record some very intense album of Gary Numan covers while and

but in all seriouness, Burzum is a guy, not a band. He's a very scary man who was put in jail for hurting a man really badly and killing him by stabbibg him A LOT. Seriously, the man has caught a lot of fucking breaks. He kills a dude, gets to go on leave and they find him IN A FUCKING TRUCK WITH A BUNCH OF WEAPONS AND SHIT when he's just let loose for a weekend. I don't know if he'll ever get granted parole after that fiasco.

It might be for the best anyway, because when/if Burzum gets released from federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison, I doubt he'll be able to record more beauty like this, what a fuckin record this is. There is a 25 minute atmospheric keyboard thing on here that goes on way too goddamn long though. I'm not sure what the shit that thing is all about. Eventually some pretty badass guitar comes in and just crunches right through the keyboard and melts your brain. This kind of sounds like Jesus & Mary Chain or some really underproduced indie rock/noise album which is probably why Burzum had such a big crossover into the indie crowd just as much as the black metal crowd. Dude is like Kelly Clarkson, he just crosses boundaries.

He probably is a better fuck than Kelly Clarkson though. She had herpes.

Rating: I give it a pretty high grade. I prefer badass guitars to wanky keyboard solos for a half hour so I think I like a couple Burzum albums more, but the second track on this record is just mind-bending in it's awesomeness. Dude was younger than me when he recorded this. All I can do is jerk off to porn and think about how much of a waste my life is, then I think "Well, I haven't murdered anyone yet." So I'm still one step ahead of the game



Verdammt said...

Seriously dude Burzum is not just one guy... the guys include Varg Vikernese and Euronymous, Varg Stabbed euronymous in the back a bunch of times, then rammed the knife into his skull over a money deal, Varg is currently serving time in jail, life, for burning 3 churches in Norway and killing his fellow band member, Burzum also orginates from Norway not Miami, your perception of this band is limited and mental, know your **** before you blasphemize.

Verdammt said...

Didn't realize you swear on this fucking shit, anyway you're a fucking idiot, blah blah blah i hope you die, varg is a fag too, black metal rules, go fuck a goat, etc...Still you're a complete fucking imbecile, Die you ninny.

Undercooked Sausage said...

ahahaha these are the first comments we've gotten from anyone in months

why don't you listen to some wings albums and chill out dude???