Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Iggy & The Stooges - Metallic K.O.

This is a live album by the fine authors of timeless garage rock classics such as "Trollin'" and "Mexican Guy." It used to be one LP with some of the songs sounding really awful and tinny, and the others sounding loud and clear, but like somebody had dropped the tape into a big 'ol bucket of jism!

Luckily, there was some reissue where they included MORE SONGS from each of these two live concert recording sessions. And luckily, I downloaded it and didn't have to pay for all the ones that sound like my fucking trebley asshole.

So anyways, this was their last tour before they decided to call it quits so that fIREHOSE could properly blossom into the mega-influential stalwarts of grindcore that they are known as today. This music is DOWNRIGHT FILTHY. You know how Exile On Main St. is just completely sloppy and muddy like heroin boogie sleaze polygamy? Well, this is like that, but the Stooges certainly weren't the fucking Stone Roses, and so for no particular reason, they had to deal with playing to crowds of angry bearded biker sluts who throw bottles and heckle the shit out of the band. So why the hell do they even go to the concert if they think the musicians are scum? Maybe they knew I was going to review this live concert album in 2007 and that's why. Well, fuck them, 'cause this is actually a review of Paul McCartney's fabulous Memory Almost Full album. Yeah, that's right, have you heard this album? It's great! The sixth track is pretty boss, it contains the line "Her ass is black and her tits are bare." Recorded live with the Beatles featuring Harrison Ford and Leonard Maltin and Star Jones and Jobriath! Buy it at your local Starbucks today!

And don't forget to dry hump a few unsuspecting employees. For me? That's right.

Rating: The first half of the 2001 reissue is amazing and sounds great and just ridiculously sleazy and there's a boogie rockin' piano and boozy backing vocals and has lots of space at the ends of songs where Iggy just baits the audience and there's lots of swearing and it might have been their last show or maybe that's the second half but god, I hope not because the second half sounds like shit and isn't nearly as entertaining. The first six songs are from the post-Raw Power era of the band where they didn't release an album and there are a bunch of semi-legit releases that have totally gross, sleazy rock songs like "Cock In My Pocket" and "Gimme Some Skin." And man, the Stooges kicked a totally different kind of ass than they did on something like Fun House at this point, didn't they! This shit is just so smacked up and dirty and man, it's not surprising that they imploded and Iggy slipped his young fleshy member into David Bowie's quivering ruby orifice of poopy, glittery shit splendor and never looked back. Berries 'n creeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaammmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Song: "Cock In My Pocket"... this is a song about a superhero named Tony! It's called... uh... it's called "Cock In My Pocket." Wow. I did not just type that. Ick. Somebody hose me down with jizz before the devil gets to me first! Hooooo!!!!

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