Saturday, August 25, 2007

Weezer - Maladroit

This is what Weezer sounds like when they're all in the bathroom having sex with each other. Seriously, flash back to 2002. After coming off the Weez "revival" and released the critically acclaimed/maligned Green Album. Weezer were on top of the commercial yogurt. 2001 will forever be known by the label: "How Cuomo Got His Groove Back"(or Grover, that video with the fucking muppets blasting cum on Cuomo's face is cute.)

This victory in power-pop stardom was short lived, however. It seemed that Weezer wanted to make-up for the crisis of infinite earths created by their lack of productivity in the latter half of the 90th century. Thusly, Rivers and company decided to place a mouth-watering loaf of half-baked ideas, riffs, corny songwriting, bake for roughly 37 minutes, let cool for 1 year, and then launch it onto your raving fanbase after tantalizing them with demos of your new album over the last year. No one thought this album could possibly be bad(well, except for Weezer detractors, but we all know they're a bunch of butt-loving faggots anyway).

Maladroit has been, and always will be a piece of shit. A lot of people at the time claimed that Maladroit was actually the superior album to Green and that it hearkened back to Weezer's 90s heyday. This is an incorrect opinion, however. Weezer never sounded like this. I mean, sure, Weezer was always big on cheesy, Van-Halen-esque guitar riffs, but as always. Mr. Cuomo always wore his heart on his sleeve, and envoked a fun playfulness in his music and lyrics. Maladroit is not fun for anyone. It's like living in a turkish prison for a half hour and some change. It's music trying desperately to sound important even when though the message is vapid and thread-bare.

That said, There's still a couple tracks of pop goodness on this listless turd. "Burnt Jamb" and uh, well the singles are alright too. My copy of this album that I have burned to my computer is all crapped up and the songs cut off before they're over. A blessing in disguise.

Rating: The worst Weezer album in existence. At least Make Believe is fun, fuck this shit.


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