Thursday, August 09, 2007

George Harrison - Cloud Nine

Much like George Harrison through the 1980s, Solid Little Rock Jams will not fade into the night.

I don't think anyone in 1987 expected George fucking Harrison to do anything worthwhile ever again in his life. His last album before this was 5 years ago and the last time he entered anyones mind was that single he did, "All Those Years Ago" to cash-in on John Lennon's recent death. At this point in George Harrison's career. He was dead, he was a mummified old, boring fart who couldn't get "with it." It's not like it would ever really matter if George came back to the spotlight. Why would he? He had a hot big-titted wife who he fucked daily, and could fall ass backwards into his vast fortune of ill-gotten beatlemania money.

George Harrison did not wanted to be forgotten as a a rich, pasty asswipe, however, so he recorded this album so people would remember "Well, George sure was a boring gay faggot, but goddamn! That cover of that one song by that shitty band was a pretty good single!" and we'd be singing it well after his death to lung cancer or whatever has passed. There's a bunch of fucking songs on here. Jeff Lynne produces this album, and it's so obvious. It sounds like an ELO album, not that I've ever taken the time to listen to more than a few ELO songs, something I'll probably be rightly chastised for, but everything sounds meticulously crafted into one big-ass ol pop song. The problem is, it makes it all sound really samey. All the drums sound the exact same except for the one Ringo is on, and all the guitars shuffle around like a bunch of dead zombies and George uses his mummified feelers to stroke and scratch out the licks.

The last track, is the bigass single though, and of course everyone should hear it. It's just too bad that the termite that infested George Harrison's ass that gave him all his melodic sensibility was crapped out after this record and George Harrison did jackshit until he released his incredible "almost as good as All Things Must Pass i swear" album Brainwashed from beyond the grave.

Rating: It's an album by George Harrison that is pretty much better than Let It Be, Abbey Road, The White Album, Sailing The Seas Of Cheese and Led Zeppelin IV. Buy it today.

Yeah, i went the whole review without mentioning the cover, but seriously, wtf!?

Download: The whole album in it's entirety.

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