Thursday, August 30, 2007

Baroness - Red Album

I am not a metal guy. I try to be a metal guy, sure, I've listened to some Papa Roach and 90s Metallica just like any other guy and found it pretty heavy. However, by and large, I'm not into it too much. Which is weird, because I've typically liked every metal album I've heard, for instance, Slayer's last record was really great and also the Beatles.

However, I think this is a metal album that any boy or girl of any age can enjoy. The lyrics are rated PG for some suggestive dialogue. At one part there is a song where the singer talks about having anal sex with a small boy, fucking and sucking his pole. Drinking the juice that comes out of his prepubescent member. These lyrics didn't sit well with me as a practicing catholic. Therefore I vote we shun this devil music and cast it back whence it came. Trouble the souls of our children no more.

No, but in all seriousness, fans of music should check this record out. It's technically metal, but in the relaxed southern style. These boys are from Georgia and prefer to keep things slow and melodic rather than bone-raping and skeletal. I could even see faggots like the dude from Decemberists and various other felons enjoying this album. This album has more in common with Daft Punk than it does Carcass.

Fans of big fucking boners will love this album too. There are dicks everyone on the album cover, on the album art. You just can't see them on the cover in JPG format because President Bush is censoring the internet and controlling all of our thoughts don't be controlled

Rating: It's one of my favorite records of this year. I've included a download link so everyone give it a shot, it's seriously an album for everyone, not just beer-chuggin, dick slammin, skinhead nazi fucks.


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