Solid Little Rock Jams

Pig Destroyer - Phantom Limb

Today I came home and proceeded to listen to this album three times in a row.

Do you know what grindcore is? Grindcore is metal played as fast as humanly possible, more or less. It ain't a pleasant listen. Napalm Death pretty much invented it, didn't they? Once upon a time, D.R.I. decided to play punk rock ridiculously fast and awesomely, and then Napalm Death made it all metal-y and added "OOOOGGGHHH" vocals and it hurt your mama's ears. Basically this huge blur of pummeling noise. It rules, yeah. Grindcore.

But the dudes had really short songs and they had one that was like, a second long or something! Hey! They obviously had a pretty good sense of humour about this stuff. Later, there were other grindcore bands. Eventually, they started to get more and more technical! Dillinger Escape Plan, for example. I mean, they're heavy. And they kick your ass and scream at you. But they're still kind of dorky and rackety, what with all the super mathy playing making things a bit rackety in a really techy sort of way. Same with Daughters. There's a lot of humour there and in a lot of other stuff like this, what with all the high pitched noises and balls-out shredfests and such. And that's great! But man, this band. THIS BAND IS SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.

Pig Destroyer is really angry about something. Who knows what. Phantom Limb is pure kickassness. And it's technical and all and they can play their asses off. But man, this shit is more just about the metal, you know? I mean, shit, these dudes completely fucking deliver, no bullshit. Really, you know how some albums just rock harder than all other albums? They just kick more ass? Well, this one kicks a lot of ass. Shit is heavy. Riff after riff of pure skull crushing metal amazingness. Played fast, yeah, but not comically so. And there are slower parts, too! They groove. Hard. This shit just roars like none other. And it never lets up. Never. All other so-called "grindcore" bands should hang their heads in defeat, 'cause Pig Destroyer's science is simply too tight.

And the last track is a really sweet idea on these guys' part! After the most violent half hour long rocking of your life, you are treated to a nice "cool down" track, evoking the good 'ol rural back porch days via cricket noises and an old timey country barbershop campfire transistor radio sing songy. Sort of like after you've been boning some broad in her zex puzzy for three hours and you decide to just surprise her with some butt love. They love that! Use someone else's wang dang, though. 'Cause they SHIT out of those things! Fuckin' BITCHES.

Rating: Good for buttfucking. And there's NO BASS. What the hell? And it totally doesn't matter, either! There's plenty of low-end to go around and kick your ass. Great record. One of the year's finest!

Song: "Girl In The Slayer Jacket"... song completely fucking rules, yeah.